threes

Latest posts from threes

• worst worst possible scenario

  Dec 07 ⎯ I'm a worrier. I just… I can't stop it. And it absolutely blows. It conditions everything you do, how you think, how you act… And you don't really get much out of it. Previously I always thought to see it as a trade-off type of thingy. Yes, I worry, which takes a lot of time and energy from me but you know, that means that I'm pretty much ready for anything. Bullshit. You can't really be ready for most of those “worse-case scenarios” that you end spending most of your time thinking about. If those things happen that way you will just have to suck it up anyway and accept that there's no solution possible. And so if that's what it is then… why worry so much? The answer is… You shouldn't. And yeah, I'm saying this as someone who does, constantly, overworry about even the slightlest thing going wrong. Which also makes me a very anxious person for, again, not much gain whatsoever. If anything, also again, I lose a lot and I win… Pretty much nothing. So, at this point, the conclusion should be obvious. I need to change this. But how? Worrying feels so ingrained into what I am, into who I am, that it just feels like an impossible task. It already felt like a mountain that was climbed the moment I reached this conclusion however… I got to the top just to realize this was just the first part of the hike. And also, the second part is a lot taller and a lot steeper. Just my luck. But I still think it's good news, I still have a goal that I'm climbing towards and, if I may be so optimistic in an uncharacteristic - for now - moment for me… I think living life, gathering experiences, makes you better at this naturally. Just going through situations in which maybe you worried so much and then either the bad thing happened and you couldn't do anything or the bad thing didn't happen and among the happy feelings you are also left with a lingering tension and a bit of guilt that always feels like a punch to my stomach. Did I really go through all of those thoughts, long nights, angry moments, sad moments, for… well, nothing? It really makes you think less of yourself for investing your energy in such a bad way. But like I said at the start. The worst part is when the worst scenario actually happens. Because you are faced with the painful realization of… Yep, you saw it coming; you ruined the process and you still can't do anything about it. And… Maybe if you weren't so worried, you would have made it happen in a nicer way. Here's to worrying less.

• fun is the point

  Dec 04 ⎯ people are looking at it the wrong way most vibe-coded stuff is pretty janky, at the very least, and that's obvious. unless you can get on the wheel and drive, it won't get very far on its own. but that honestly does not matter because, to be fair, 99.99% of the vibe coded things that we all make.. will see no use at all and that's perfectly fine because most of the time that isn't the point; the actual point of vibe coding is in the MAKING OF THE THING, it's not really in the using it, it's pure joy, it doesn't have to drive numbers, it doesn't have to have stickiness, it doesn't have to grow… it just exists and you've had fun building something and a lot of us lost this when we stopped playing with legos, because the point was in the building, in the joy of thinking about something and building it, and yeah the car didn't move, the dragon didn't fly, and the soldiers didn't shoot anything but that was not important whatsoever because the fun was in thinking about it, in trying to build whatever you were able to, as close to your idea as possible and with whatever you had at the time and... that was always enough and it always felt enough; you didn't care if your sister didn’t like it or if your cousin didn't use it hell, i didn't even care if I ended up playing with it at all, or if i even remembered it 30 minutes later because the fun had been had already vibecoding is exactly the same feeling and exactly the same point, you think of some stuff, you think it's cool, and you go at it and if it's useful then that's dope but if it isn't then that's also dope. In all honesty, even if it's useful i probably still wouldn't use any of the little shits i've been making because.. yeah the polish isn't there and for most of the things i actually use.. i want them to be clean, and reliable, and polished and guess what, cleaning, making things reliable and polishing them, to me, is boring as hell and I ain't got time for it, I'll pay for a service built by people that get paid to do the boring parts and I'll focus on enjoying using the tool and when i'm doing, i'll go back to building cars that don't drive, dragons that don't fly, and soldiers that don't shoot

• latitude vs altitude

  Nov 27 ⎯ it happens to everyone, at some point, it happens there is your path and there is a better path. or at least you think it’s a better path at the time. but moving to the better path means moving to the side which kind of also means… you won’t be as far ahead in this new - potentially better - path as you would be in your original path i’m at that junction right now and it makes me quite anxious, specially because my decisions no longer only impact me, now I have a family and.. well, it impacts them as well so where before I’d be more like “yeah, sure, I can catch up if it’s a better path” and not think so much more about it, now.. now I can’t do it at least I can’t do it without thinking about it for quite a lot longer than I would have before, and I can’t do it without also talking about it with my family which in all honesty has been a much easier process than I would have imagined if I had tried to do that some years ago but it’s such a special process, it makes you feel whole, family is a hell of a drug, taking decisions as a unit, a unit that you chose and that chose you… dude, that’s absolute crack in the most purest way ever like.. what do you mean these choices shape a family? like months ago I was just planning on buying more mechanical keyboards and now I’m looking at all of these things? crazy in the end, to be honest, I think my choices won’t change much in respect of the ones I would do before, when it was ‘just me”, but.. it still makes the process different and specially a loooot more stressing all of this, to say, thank you to my wife for supporting me now, and always, I will make sure you never regret your decisions of trusting me, supporting me, and believing that betting on me is betting on us

• strategy in a headless world

  Nov 15 ⎯ These past few months, I've been asked to let go of some of the more tactical day-to-day work; delegate this and take on a more strategical role. This sounds like a pretty common situation if you are in an environment were the people over you can see your outcome as too little compared to what you could be doing. I don't necessarily disagree with this thought. As a matter of fact, I completely agree with it. But the issue is that for the type of person that I am, my outcomes are usually a reflection of what I perceive lacking or needed on my environment that needs the most attention right now. This has a pretty annoying side-effect which is that most people will think that because of this, then that is what I'm good at or - Lord help me - I actually enjoy doing. I've received through my life so much feedback about how oriented to detail I am. The reality is that I am not. At all. My attention to feedback usually is fueled by anxiety cause by the rest of the environment paying close to 0 attention to the details. It's not in me to be attentive to details, but my brain can see that unless someone gives that to the environment, the environment will fail. So I pay attention to the details. This is a very costly task, it's very time consuming and it's very draining to the brain. But someone has to do it. So I do it. This comes at a price, not just the ones mentioned just now but also when you face it against *the things that you didn't do because you were, instead, doing this one. And things work, obviously. Paying attention to details isn't difficult, it's hard. Anyone can do it. It's not a mater of talent, it's a matter of understanding that it has to be done. It has to be on everything that we do, so that it's not all dumped on the “this person is very good at paying attention to details” person. It's a group responsibility and when we allow people to break it, either someone else has to do it for them,or we will all pay the price for it. So, as much as I am looking forward to increasing my strategic outcomes, which is what I actually enjoy doing and I'm good at, I can't but feel the details will be lost on the way. Like they always are. P.S. Fika team, if you read this, writing (at least on Firefox) is quite annoying, I have to keep scrolling down or the bottom bar blocks over what I'm writing. Could you pad it up a little bit? Thank you for the recommended articles on the email (do more of that and also, let me see my subscription on a feed on the site, please).

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